Chapter 9

Las Vegas was fun I have to admit. We didn't stay the whole week because it's hurricane season there and four black lesbians and a hurricane really isn't a cute mix. Tamara and Tory went to Ikea early to get some more silverware and kitchen supplies for the new house. Eriyn went to Bed, Bath, and Beyond to get some more stuff for both of the bathrooms and I'm in here cleaning for the house warming tonight. I really don't want all these people in the house because the last house warming we had everyone got drunk and slept over. I hate cleaning up after grown ass men and women. Family is one thing, but my friends, Tamara and Tory's friends, and Eriyn's friends all total in disaster. We all drink, we all smoke, we all act a damn fool, and we all do the most when we're together so somebody tell me how the hell they think this night is going to end?
I didn't feel like cooking so I ordered Panda Express and a platter from Chik-Fil-A that way there was a variety of food and nobody could complain. We spent $400 on alcohol and over $600 in stuff for the house in general. This night better go spectacular or I'm spazzing. My attitude is way past high today. I'm just not in the mood and I'm not exactly sure why. I just feel like something is bound to go wrong. Around 6:00 people begin showing up. My mother showed up with my aunt and grandmother, Tamara's family came down from PG, Eriyn's people were damn near a hour late, and Tory's people (who are basically my people) were an hour early. We drank wine and shared stories. My aunt prayed over the house and sent a blessing of serenity. God knows we need it. We don't need anything else happening to any of us. Our friends stayed a little longer than our families and then the party really started. Drunk spades, zooted monopoly, and no where near sober dancing with the Wii. Sammy, my righthand was having way to much fun, but over all tonight was a success. Still, I have this preminition tonight I'm going to have to smack the living FUCK out of somebody's child.


After everyone leaves and Eriyn and I clean up, Tory and Tamara roll up a couple blunts and we all get to smoking. Our first real night in the house and it smells sour as hell in this living room but hell, we grown and we can do what we please.
"Why you so tense?" Eriyn asks me in between hits.
"I really don't know, it's like I'm mad at something and I don't why." I say hitting a pipe.
"Girl chill out."
"I can't, it's like when I do calm down and relax, some shit gets me uncomfortable again."
"You think it's because it's our first real night here?" Tory asks.
"Probably, shit I don't know"
"Baby calm down, I'm sure it's nothing" Rome tells me.
Although, they're telling me to chill out, it just isn't working. I can't stop feeling like I need to keep my guard up because really soon I'm going to have to truly kirk the fuck out. After we all shower, it's time for the newlyweds to get some rest, all of us got work in the morning. I'm really not trying to go but we got bills to pay. In the middle of the night Tamara's phone rings and she gets out of bed to answer it. She's only gone for about 10 minutes, then she climbs back in bed and puts her arm around me.
"Who was that?" I ask.
"Nobody baby, it's nothing serious, just business" she reassures me.
"Okay" I say as I doze back off.
Now something really isn't sitting right with me. Why the fuck is someone calling my wife this early in the morning, better yet, who the fuck is calling her this damn early? I'm not going to phase it but I'm pretty sure this is the reason I'm feeling the way I am. The next morning, Tory and I made breakfast for our spouses and sat on the balcony of the house while she smoked her a black.
"Cousin, I think Rome is on that sneaky shit again."
"What you mean?" she asks in between puffs.
"Somebody called her phone like midnight and she got UP out of the bed and answered it."
"She was probably just respecting the fact that you were sleep"
"Then she came back to bed and threw her arms around me"
"What?"
"Yea"
"Something don't seem right" she said raising a eyebrow. "I'm going to talk to her for you."
After we all leave for classes that morning, I get to Coppin around 11:30 and go to financial aid because as much as I love my college, they're unorganized like hell. I leave the office like 1:00 finally have taken care of everything and head to my first class. Angie and I leave that class and head over to our second class where she points out that she hasn't seen my wife all day. I notice the shit too but I just let it slide. That ugly feeling comes back and for the rest of the day I'm somewhat agitated.
Angie and I head to work around 5:30. When I get to the office, Tamara's car is parked in the parking lot. This is strange as shit but whatever. I'm just going to let the shit slide and go into work. This nasty ass feeling I'm having is starting to get worse. I get into work and take some Advil before my shift starts. I don't need a headache from whatever bullshit is about to happen and the bullshit I already deal with at work. Taking some files to my supervisor's office I come pass a file with Tamara's name on it. I want to look but in order for me to keep my job I need to mind my business.
I see Tamara leaving the doctor's office. I stop her to have a conversation with her and she's crying.
"Baby what's wrong?' I ask her.
"We need to talk, like now." she says in between sobs.
I've never seen her cry this hard in the time that I've known her. Not when her father died, not when she was being raped, none of this. What's wrong with her? I ask my boss for the rest of the night off and she told me I should take Tamara home and we should talk about what's wrong. I want to know what the hell is wrong with my wife and every other motherfucker in this office that knows what's going on besides me.
We drive home and Tory and Eriyn are sitting on the couch like they've been waiting for us to get home. I need a drink. I don't like not knowing what's going on. Somebody is either lying or someone isn't being real.
Tamara sits down and pats the seat next to her. I sit down and grab her hand. She's still crying. She's been crying this whole time. Her face is completly red and her eyes are really red and puffy. Does she have AIDS? Is she dying?
"Baby, I love you and I'm sorry. I didn't mean for this to happen. None of us did. You know that day all that shit happened we didn't plan that. I cried just as hard as you did. I remember the pain, the blood, the nasty feeling, the slurs, the cursing, the hurt, all of it. I'm so sorry for this." she falls onto the floor at my feet and grabs my legs.
Tamara get up!" I'm scared and I don't know what to expect.
"T get up girl, come on" Tory says through her tears. She looks just as scared as me.
"What the fuck is going on!" I yell. At this moment somebody better tell me something before I call the police, or ambulance, or something. I'm so damn confused I have no idea what to do. I feel faint and that nasty feeling I was having all day now has my heart racing, my blood boiling, my foot stomping, my hands sweating, and my words slurred. I feel like I'm ready to black out.
"Christian, calm down girl." Eriyn is trying her hardest to get me calm but it's just not working. I don't want to be touched.
"It's not as bad as it seems but I don't want you losing your head over this. I just want you to be here for her. Support her through this. She needs you right now."
"WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!" I'm losing my mind at this point and I want to know what's wrong.
"Christian, I'm pregnant!" Tamara yells. She can't stand straight. She's trying to pull herself up on the couch but she can't move.
I'm still.
The feeling I just had of disgust and anger now turns to straight lividness. If I could kill a nigga that was already dead I would do it. I can't fathom the thought of my wife, my dominant wife being with child. I know she's scared and hell I'm scared for her but what can I do at this point.? I just want to hold her but she won't let me touch her. I don't have any real thoughts at this moment and my body is numb. Now we are all sitting on the floor huddled together holding one another. We were a family before this and we'll be a family during this situation. I don't know what to do right now I feel lost. I have to go to God on this one.