Chapter 6

I feel like a real bitch. Every since that shit happened in the apartment that day Christian and I have been staying at Tory and Eriyns. It just doesn't feel right being there. Christian and I haven't had sex in almost 6 weeks. I don't want to deny my girlfriend the right to make love to me, but right now I can't do it. Every night I go to sleep I can see his face. I can feel the burning sensation of his nasty ass dick entering me. I wake up in deep ass night sweats. Crying sometimes like a child that just lost her puppy. I feel like a real bitch. Christian doesn't really know what to do. She just holds me and lays with me until I drift back off to sleep. I swear I don't know what I would do without this girl. It's been really hard for her lately. She doesn't think about it as much. She really tries to ignore the fact that Ashly raped her. It's not as traumatizing because she has had sex with her before, but she really can't believe she forced herself on her. I miss being happy with her. Having nothing messing up our relationship. We don't blame ourselves for what happened we just want to move on from it. We're looking for an another apartment because our old one holds too many bad memories and it still has blood stains in the mattress and carpet. I can't live like that and I refuse for my wife to have like that either. Tory and Eriyn have been more then helpful with trying to make us as comfortable as possible. I love my twin.
"Baby" Christian said as she entered the room.
"What's up?" I said sitting up.
"I talked to our old landlord, there's a townhouse close to the school that's the same price a month as the apartment was." she said to me. She was ecstatic and I was happy right along with her. We went over to the renter's home and signed the paperwork. This was a chance for a new beginning. We had 3 bedrooms, 2 baths, and a basement all for $1100 dollars a month. That's not bad at all. We talked things over with Tory and Eriyn and we decided that maybe they should move in with us. We've been staying with them long enough to know wether or not living together would be a good idea and to be honest, I really enjoy it. Family dinners, date night, movie night, game night, nights full of fun with another happy couple. Last Sunday, we went to church together and had a wonderful time. Christian and Eriyn were really into the sermon but just like twins Tory and I fell asleep. He was talking my head off and we didn't eat breakfast that morning. We drove out to PG to see my mom later on that day and I finally told her about what had happened.
I explained to her that Christian and I did somethings that we aren't proud of and that Ashly and Carlisa are in jail. We have 2 more court dates before a sentencing but they're being charged with a lot. Breaking and entering, trepassing, rape, first and second degree assualt, and theft. I hane no idea what they stole and I honestly don't give a fuck anymore. I'm just glad that they're getting what they deserve. As for the nigga that raped me? Well, his funeral was 2 weeks ago and a lot of people up Coppin were talking about me. I didn't know that he went to our university. I never saw him. Apparently he was a baksetball player and Ashly's brother. I truly don't give a damn about who he was to that bitch and sad to say, I'm kind of glad he's dead. Any man that could rape a woman, or anyone for that matter doesn't deserve to live. My mother couldn't agree with me more. My grandfather raped her when I was younger. He's my brother's father. I know that sounds disgusting but it's the truth. I didn't know my grandfather and honestly I don't want to. I just thank God for my brother everyday. He's fourteen now and suffers from autism. He speaks well and he's very smart, but he has problems communicating with others and expressing his feelings. He lives with my grandparents. My grandmother divorced my grandfather after the whole rape situation and the man she's married to now is a godsend. He's everything my grandmother needs. She's done so much for our family, she deserves a good man.
"Well you know, your grandmother is mad at you right Lela?" my mother says to me. She only calls me Lela when she's trying to get up under my skin. Lela is my nickname from when I was a baby. She said I looked like my aunt Lela who died the week before I was born.
"Why?"
"You and Christian still haven't picked a date."
"Yes we have, December 16
"We're working on the invatations this weekend. We're sending them out the end of October so people have enough time to prepare.
"... and buy us gifts" Eriyn intergected. We all decided on doing the weddings on the same day at different times. Christian and I are getting married in the morning and Tory and Eriyn that night.
"A sunrise wedding?" my mother asked. "That's beautiful, it's about time you two came up with something that wasn't super gay. All them damn rainbows all over the house, and the women kissing on the wall." she said with a chuckle. My mother has to be one of the most supportive parents I know. She's been ok with me being gay since day one.
We left my moms' house around 4:00 and headed back towards the city to look for dresses for Christian and Eriyn. My mother said she would meet us at the dress shop because she had to pick up somethings for the recpetion. She's been more the helpful.
We stopped past Christian's parents house and picked up her mom. Her parents were thrilled about us getting married but they are very happy for us. She has a very religious family and they aren't for the whole Eve is for Eve and Adam for Adam but they're happy for us and they are attending both weddings. All of our families have grown close.
When we finally arrived at the dress store. Christian and Eriyn and their mothers along with my mother and Christian's sisters went to work. They picked out 8 dresses for each girl. Today we would decide on their dresses and the bridemaids color. I know it's a little late but these girls are so indecisive. First it was pink, then lilac, then lily. I'm getting a headache with all these damn colors and I still need to pick a vest.
Tory and I left the dress store early and went to pick out tuxedos. We both know we want to wear white but we have to wait for a phone call to decide on a vest.
"I must I look good in this suit" Tory said fixing her collar.
"You ok, I said making sure I could dance in these tight ass pants.
"Can you believe we're getting married?" Tory asked.
"Hell no, I can't" I said.
"Why?"
"Think about T, we've been getting bitches since high school together. Pulling cards, running game, turning the straighest of the bitches out, and now you and I are getting married."
"True shit, so what you're second thoughts?" Tory asked me.
"Never that, I'm happy with my girl, I love my girlfriend. I just feel like I wish I could do so much more for her. " I said. I began to sound like a real femme at that moment.
"Look, Christian appreciates all that you do for her. She loves you more she loves her damn self. That's a lot of loving. You have to understand that. You know what you want out of life and a lot of that has to do with being with her. " Tory said taking off her coat. She was right if I wanted to be with Christian and really be with her, I have to stop thinking about what I can't do for her and
do my best to provide what I can. I love my wife and on December 16 we are going to make this bond official.