I swear my girl has to be the one of the most perfect women on this planet. I don't want to sound like no bitch or nothing but I swear ever since Chris and I got together I've been so much happier. Last night made six months and I never in my life would imagine at such a young age I would want to settle down. I'm not really thinking of proposing just yet but I can really see us being together for a long time. I really didn't want to leave her this morning but I had class. I swear ever since we moved into that apartment, sex has been crazy, meals have been consistent and hot, and I hate leaving her. She's something close to perfect, real shit. My mother keeps saying "If you love her so much then you need to make it permenant before someone else gets her". I keep telling her she's not going anywhere but she's right I need to do something to make sure she knows I want to marry her someday. Today, in class proposing was the only thing on my mind. "Ms.Tamara do you know the answer to number 47?" Shit. I hate when this happens. "Ummm.. x equals 79 square root of 15 ?" I answer in a way you know I don't know what I'm talking about. "Yes, that is correct". "Good Job" says a whisper over my shoulder. "Who the hell?" I say as I look back. This bitch, I swear you would think after you transfer from somewhere you would rid of your problem. Carlisa MacDaniels. I can't stand this girl. Carlisa and I dated a few years ago and she transferred to Coppin a little before I did. No intention of getting back together. I left my old university because for $30,000 a year I should at least be learning something.
"You still smart as shit I see." Carlisa compliments.
"Yep." I say in a smart ass tone.
"So how you been?"
"Good."
"You in Daley right?"
"I'm living off campus."
"Where?"
"In my damn skin" I say as I get up to leave class which Professor Evans just dismissed. Why is that this girl can't get the hint I don't like her hoodrat ass? As I leave to walk towards the Tawes Center, Carlisa comes up behind me and grabs my waist. "Where you going?" she says in a sexy tone. "Away!" I say as I jerk away from her hold. She doesn't give up. I go to Subway and get lunch and sit outside waiting for Chris to get out of class. Her class is over a little after mine. Just as Chris walks out of the Grace Jacobs building Carlisa walks towards my table and sits down. I thought I had seen the last of this bitch, at least for today. As Chris approaches the table, Carlisa has a seat. "So what we eating Daddy?" Carlisa asks. "Right Daddy what we eating for lunch?" Chris asked as she approaches the table and kisses me with so much tounge that my pussy gets soaking wet. She was claiming territory and I loved it. She always gets like this around other fems when they flirt with me. I knew once Carlisa left I was getting cussed out. "How are you?" Chris asked Carlisa. "I'm good, how are you?" Carlisa asked in her who the fuck is this? tone.
"Can't complain." Chris said.
"That's sweet" Carlisa said.
As Carlisa got up to leave she blew me a kiss and gave Chris a small smile. Just as Carlisa hit the corner Chris began the third degree. "Really Tamara?" she never calls me Tamara unless she's mad. "Who the hell is that?" she snarled. "An old girlfriend who I DID NOT plan on running into." I answered like a child being yelled at by her mother.
"Tamara really? So she just saw you and started flirting?, You know I hate that. All these random ass broads. I told you when shit like this happens I need a forewarning so I don't go off."
"Like you are now?" I said knowing damn well I just put my foot so far in my mouth I can taste it in my throat.
"Say no more Tamara" she said as she gathered her things and got up from the table.
Damn. I hate when she gets like this. I know that I need to stop this but this wasn't my fault. Carlisa confronted me. I hate when she ignores me. I know tonight I'm sleeping alone. Instead of her putting me out of the bed she sleeps on the couch with the TV on. I'm going to go home and that's exactly where she's going to be.
"Looks like women troubles" Carlisa says as she walks back over to the table and sits down.
"Look just leave me be. I don't want to be bothered with you anymore. I told you when we broke up I didn't want any ties to you and I was serious." I argue.
"Ok, I guess this is goodbye. Excuse me for trying to be a good ass friend and squash old beefs" she says as she leaves the table. I have a headache and I just want to go home, one more class and I'm done for today. I head home to change for work and Christian wasn't there. I called her phone, no asnwer, I text her and waited for a reply, still no answer. Where the fuck is this girl? It's damn near 11:30 when she comes in the house. She's not drunk, high, bruised, nothing. She looks fine. "Hey baby" I say in a loving tone. She just goes to the kitchen and begins to make dinner. She made alfredo. The whole time we ate, she never spoke to me and she didn't say anything. I asked her about class, practice, work, everything I could think of and she still wouldn't speak to me. What the fuck did I do? Christian took a shower and layed down in the bed. She let me hold her and throughout the night I could hear her crying. Everytime I asked her what was wrong, she shook her head to say everything was good and eventually, she dozed off. I'm worried about her. The next day at school, as I parked my car, Carlisa was getting off the bus. I ignored her and went to class. Tory and I met up after class and talked about what was going on. If there is anyone I can talk to about Christian it's her cousin and my bestfriend. I told her about the sitaution and she gave me some advice.
" She's hurt yo. No bullshit, she hurts. I've seen this before. She feels like she's going to lose you. Carlisa being here, fucking with you, feeling up on you, bothering you, it makes her uneasy. The last time this shit happened she had her heartbroken. Her girlfriend, Ashly, cheated on her with an ex in their house. She cried for like three weeks." Tory explained.
"I had no idea that she had been hurt like that before. We talked about everything and she's mentioned the situation before but I didn't know she was hurt that bad. I would never do anything to hurt her. I love her. I love her with every ounce of me." I said fighting back tears. Tonight I would make it known that I love my girlfriend with all my heart. Tonight I'm going to propose to Christian.
Tory and I went to the mall after classes and she helped me pick out a ring. I chose a pretty princess cut surrounded by her birthstone with a 14k white gold band. As expensive as that ring was, Christian deserved it. We stopped pass Christian's job and took her lunch. She smiled and kissed me. I guess she was feeling somewhat better. You could tell she was still in some kind of pain. That would all end tonight.
She got home around 10:30 and showered. I made dinner for a change. She ate and we made small conversation. She was telling me how she felt about the whole situation between her and Ashly. I wanted to reassure her that I wasn't her ex and that I wasn't going anywhere. I knew that proving that would be hard especially in the situation we were just in. I offered to clean up but she insisted. While she washed the dishes I went and changed. I put on a pair of shorts and a sports bra that has the day we started dating printed on it. It was an anniversary gift a while back. I wear it on occasions where I know I've fucked up and need to make up for my fuck ups. She came into the bedroom and we cuddled for a while. She changed her clothes into a shirt of mine and some boyshorts. She wanted to fuck. I could tell. She doesn't go into my closet for my clothes unless she really wants to fuck. She buttoned my buttonup all the way to the top just enough so that the collar sat perfectly. I went into the bathroom and put my strap on so that when it got to the point where she was ready for it, there wasn't any stopping, pausing, hesistation, or change of plans. When I went back into the room she was rolled over on my side of the bed with a pillow in between her legs and she was crying. "Baby what's wrong?" I asked her walking over to the bed. "Nothing Rome just come to bed." she said as she rolled over to her side of the mattress. I climbed into bed and she opened her mouth to talk, but all that came were tears.
"Would you ever leave me Tamara?" she asked as she heavy tears.
"Baby, No.." I said as I grabbed her pulled her close to me and held her.
"She's so much prettier then me, thinner then me, her lips are bigger, she's perfect. What do I have to offer you Tamara? We don't hold hands anymore, you don't walk me to class, and before you left this morning you didn't kiss me like you used to." she broke from my hold and got up. She put on some sweat pants, adidas sandals, grabbed her purse and walked out the door. What did I do so wrong? I guess my mother was right, maybe I should've done more to let her know I love her. Where is she going? I put my clothes on and got into the car but she hadn't pulled off yet. The minute I start my car she speeds off and out the parking lot. Where the fuck is this girl going? I finally catch up with her at the local park and there are tears streaming down her face and her eyes look dry and puffy.
"What does she have that I don't?!" Christian yells as she throws a handful of rocks into the lake.
"Nothing." I yell through sprints down to her side. If it's one thing I hate seeing is the love of my life in dismay. I know that she's had some self esteem issues in the past but I thought we hadn't gotten past this.
